Today I left the barn nearly in tears for the first time. I’m so frustrated with my injury holding me back. I’ve lost almost all confidence. I am acutely aware that I am still pretty vulnerable and may still have a couple more months before I’m cleared to ride. It’s getting to be a painfully long time. I really miss my horse time and I have been attempting to do regular ground work and spend time with her. We are at a pretty busy barn. The people are wonderful and I’m grateful for such a helpful supportive group, but as I start my journey back, I feel pretty vulnerable with all the action and other horses. I’ve been determined to get back to where we were before my fall. Today was the first time I questioned my resolve.
I reached out to an amazing group of ladies who ride and are my age. They told me their stories of the injuries they’ve endured and of their road back to doing the thing they love. What a remarkable group of women. Their stories were inspiring and their support so appreciated. One after another had amazing experiences of overcoming some pretty devastating injuries and health issues. Every one of them persevered and overcame them or were still overcoming them but had not lost their resolve to do so.
They reminded me why it is I can’t and won’t give up. It would break my heart to do so. Every one of them feels the same. It is comforting to know there are others who have the same illogical passion to push forward and do the thing they love, even when faced with the reality that we can get hurt and we can be vulnerable. But the thought of not doing it is worse than anything else we might encounter. They offered support and advice and encouragement.
Thank you ladies!! You are all truly remarkable!
I am working on a plan with my trainer to work one on one with her when the arena is quiet. Lexi and I both relax and do better with her support and guidance and for the moment fewer distractions until I can get my confidence back. With a little patience and perseverance hopefully we’ll be back in the action in no time!